About stress in life
Stress in life can, for example, be having too much at work, a cracking relationship, problems with finances, a sick parent to take care of or a child who needs extra help and support. Stress leaves its mark on the body and perhaps we have problems with sleep, tension in the body, headaches, stomach problems or recurring infections. When we finally get a moment to ourselves, we find it hard to relax and fail to recover.
Stress and worry begin to take over all our free time and make it increasingly difficult to think clearly. The feeling of not being enough, having too much to do and not being able to influence the life situation increases. We may then feel powerless, resigned, anxious and sad about our situation. We might skip meals, physical exercise, postpone bedtime. We simply do not have time to think about ourselves and take care of our own needs anymore. The feeling of being stuck in a hamster wheel that is impossible to escape from has grown increasingly stronger.
About pains and discomforts in the body
Living with a chronic pain condition, a somatic disease, or changes in the body that one cannot fully control can be very mentally taxing. It can give rise to anxiety, worry, anger, despair, melancholy, grief. Continuously carrying these feelings might make one feel more tired, powerless, unwilling to exercise and doing things like seeing other people.
What once was fun, stimulating, and of interest, one might have now completely stopped doing. The body only gets weaker, stiffer and more painful. One becomes even more sad, lonely, and perhaps depressed. The mental and physical pain only increases, even though one wishes for the opposite. The condition has become like a downward spiral and one does not know how to break the deterioration.
About Post-traumatic Stress
We can also experience stress reactions long after a severe event has occurred. This is known as post-trauma stress reaction, even though there is no longer any identifiable threat.
The body remembers different events we have experienced throughout life. Perhaps as an adult, you go about your daily life with a constant state of alarm in your body, filled with tension and anxiety for the worst to happen even though there is no identifiable threatening situation. Emotions can surprise us, appear unexpectedly, be over as quickly as they came, but they can also stay with us. We may find it hard to let them go, be tormented by a nagging feeling of discomfort over a longer period of time that we do not know how to handle.
Perhaps a sudden dangerous situation in the present triggers a strong reaction in the body as if it were reliving the old trauma again. Or seemingly innocent stimuli around in everyday life arouse strong reactions in you to such a degree that the space for living begins to shrink and that you no longer recognize yourself as a person.
These examples above show complex and challenging situations in life that give rise to psychological and physical suffering where we may need help to be able to change and move forward towards improved health and well-being.
About Relationship patterns
Have you ever thought about your relationship patterns? For example:
Maybe it’s important to you that other people feel okay. Do you take responsibility for their feelings and put their needs ahead of your own? Even if it makes you feel worse, you might still choose to help them. You may be willing to go far beyond your own limits for the sake of others. When they feel good, you feel good.
Maybe you've only felt valuable as a person when you've been helpful or important to others — but in focusing so much on them, you may have lost touch with yourself.
Or maybe you feel like you have to be perfect, always doing your best — even more than what’s really needed. You might set very high standards for yourself, maybe just in one part of your life — like at work or with friends — or maybe it affects everything you do. The fear of not being good enough, of being judged, or of making mistakes might lead you to spend a lot of time and energy trying to get everything just right. Do you push yourself to overachieve, just to be safe?
Maybe being perfect makes you feel more loved, seen, and like you truly belong.
Sometimes, these patterns start in early relationships — in the family we grew up in. We often carry those early ways of relating with us into adult life. And as adults, we might not have thought about how these patterns look today — or how much they might still be shaping our lives.
